Blister in the Sun

I have a friend who's not doing so well. I'm horribly worried about her and she's headed back to IOP. I met her there about a year and a half ago and I hate seeing her having a relapse. It's scary because I worry about her and her ability to stay safe, but also because I'm so empathetic I tend to go with people on their emotions. I'm happy right now and I don't want to fall down that rabbit hole. I guess I'm learning more about boundaries this way. It's just so hard to see her so upset and lost - I wish I could make it better, but I know there's nothing I can do except for what I am doing by listening to her and being as supportive as possible. Having been in that position many times in the past, I know how very much that helps, but there's the guilt of being a burden on one's friends that for me is just unbearable. I love her so much and am praying she makes it through this.

I'm also worried about L. He's convinced that he's the worst kid in the world and just plain stupid. It kills me to hear those things come out of my baby's mouth. I want him to feel wonderfully about himself, but I think he has inherited his mother's mental illness. Talk about guilt. S is urging me to get him into therapy ASAP and I'm so scatterbrained that I haven't made the call yet. I hate so much that the poor kid is taking after his mama and I can't do anything to make it better... I barely know how to cope and now my child needs me to model behavior for him and I can't. My poor baby. I can only guess how his father will react. I expect he'll only pull away further. *sigh*