My wedding is less than 2 months away. I sent out invitations at the start of October. Unfortunately, I invited only about 40 people, knowing full well that only about 25 will show. I'm grateful for that because I can't afford any more than 30 people. However, that means that most of my family didn't get an invitation. My mom has 4 brothers, each of them has a wife, and between them there are 7 children. I hate that I had to be that person. I invited a distant cousin who I haven't seen since I was 13 or 15, but she and I have struck a pretty solid friendship and I want her there.
Then there are the bible thumpers. I have no problem with the ones who just love Jesus. Jesus was a pretty awesome guy. I don't believe he's the Messiah, but that's a whole different discussion. The bible thumpers are the ones who don't agree with the gay lifestyle (who asked??) and are fond of quoting Leviticus at me, and yet have no problem with women wearing pants. Yeah. Leviticus says that women who wear pants are whores and should be treated as such. These are also the people who told me I was going to hell for leaving my abusive ex-husband who used to release stress by abusing me. Usually verbally, but on special occasions he liked to hit me. Forgive me for not wanting you there as I pledge my love for a woman and vow to be with her until the end of time or the cancellation of Dr. Who.
The cousins aren't so bad. I feel horribly though, because there are a couple of them who I would LOVE to have invited, but if I had, the parents would have come and I don't want that level of anxiety hanging over me on my wedding day. To be honest though, I wish everyone could be there. It would be nice to finally interact with these people as an adult. To try to see if friendships can be formed or if these are just people that I know by virtue of my birth. I would love to know these people as people. Sure, my cousins are the fun kids who I tried to build an airplane with out of a wheelbarrow and spare parts behind my grandparents' garage, but, considering that I never talk to people from elementary school, I'm curious about these people. Being me, I just assume they don't want to know me. I'm also pretty sure I'm the black sheep, so I keep myself and my valuable, sooty wool to myself. I avoid family functions. But maybe it's time I tried to know these people.
I will probably send out announcements. It's the polite and proper thing to do. I hate that I've probably offended every single one of them by excluding them from the wedding, but honestly, the main reason is financial. We, Sara and I, not our mothers, are paying for this wedding. We have paid for everything and I like that. It means that I don't have to listen to the "you should do this" argument if I don't want to. Okay. Enough bitching and worrying. I should try to find a better topic next time. Maybe i'll start posting my thanksgiving thankfuls here. Be warned: they're all true, but they aren't like everyone else's.
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