dealing

I'm not exactly the poster child for dealing, but I've honestly been digging through things and forcing myself to deal with things that have happened. My usual defense mechanism is sarcasm. I use it to push people away when they get too close and it has cost me dearly. But I'm tired of it all. I've been making myself miserable this way and I need to deal with a lot of crap so I can finally let it go. The thing that bothers me is not really having anyone who can be supportive about this. I need to do it alone though and I realize that. It's just daunting and unfamiliar. No one else experienced it though, so how can I expect them to understand?

I've been more social because of all this. I'm realizing just how special I am and how much I deserve the happiness I'm chasing. I will have the life I've dreamed of and no one can stop me from achieving it. I can only hope that they'll want to come along for the ride (in the figurative sense - I've already screwed over people by trying that literally). I am worthy of my dreams and I do deserve it. I just have to stop sabotaging myself.