14.11.10
hmmmmm
My sense of foreboding is kicking in full force. I don't want it to be true, but I feel the need to pause and listen to the silence enveloping me. What is it trying to say? I've spent a lot of time praying, last night being the first time since childhood I've knelt by my bed and prayed in utter sincerity. I must have spent ten minutes just saying "please". I want this and I know I can handle it, even if the world disagrees. I've been so worried I'm beginning to notice physical reactions to the stress. It's okay though. What in life that is worth anything comes easily? I'm prepared to struggle and I'm prepared to sit back and let it ride.
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