Jesus was a dreidel spinner

So why can't my mother respect my choice? Just a thought for the third day of Hanukkah. I'm really enjoying the holiday with L. He's asking so many questions and is really embracing being a Jew. I'm so proud of him. Our first Hanukkah is going fabulously. I made latkes and managed to find baklava at the store! My latkes were a little too oniony for my taste, but still delicious and highly addictive.

I had a doctor appointment on Wednesday and it went alright. My dosage got upped again. It's moments like that which really make me despise depression. It reminds me that something is actually wrong and makes me feel defective. At least I didn't end up inpatient again. Don't get me wrong, I understand that sometimes it's a necessary part of treatment, but it scares the hell out of me. I go into every appointment frightened it will happen again. But I'm trying to accept that it is part of my reality. Most of the time I'm so adept at accepting my condition, but right now, I'm having a moment where I feel it's unfair. But God gives us all challenges and problems we must bear and I have to learn to do so without doubt. I just struggle sometimes. Unfortunately, I'm home today because of my med change. I'm dizzy beyond belief and it feels like the world is swimming around me. Yet another reason to be annoyed with this lifelong challenge.