Secrets

Yeah, sorry, I don't have any secrets to share... i just really like the song. So, J and I talked. To be honest, it was fabulous, but I must admit, for the most part, I'm on board with his "no friends of the opposite sex" idea. I'm not worried about the guys who are gay, or family or even colleagues, but obviously the married ones aren't exactly trustworthy. *sigh* what a butt head he is. I'm not even including his initial cause I don't think it's worth it. That and you don't need to know. I told his wife last night... I had to. She was surprisingly not pissed at me. I really thought she would be. Thankfully not. I don't know what's in store for them and it's none of my business, but I worry about her. However, no more male friends that don't meet the aforementioned criteria... I love J far too much to put our relationship in jeopardy like that. I trust myself, but I don't want to be put in that position ever again.

I've spent my afternoon at a coffee shop studying. It's nice. I'm finally through the French Baroque and am plowing through the English stuff. I'm onto one of my favorite composers... Henry Purcell.. I call him Hank. No where near as attractive as Schubert, but hopefully much less syphallictic. Anyways... I had to text my brother for a reminder on what an upbeat meant... seriously.. I was right in my guess, but I feel like such an idiot not remembering something so simple. I'm a violinist for Christ's sake. I should remember that and upbeat means and up bow and that means... duh.. a pick up note. *sigh* It's okay. At least it's the little things that escape me and nothing enormous. I still know what Monophony is versus Monody and I still know what a nume is and even more, how to read them. What actually was fun today was relearning what is involved in a 17th C. French suite.. I mean, wow.. it's so similar to the German suite and reminds me strongly of the violin partitas I used to love playing so much.

I tried to play my violin the other day and ended up breaking an E string... *sigh* This kind of occurence used to not even phase me and now, it just seems like a hassle and a pain in the ass. Plus I couldn't find the piece I really wanted to play. I think I lost it in one of my many moves. It was the two Violin Romances by Beethoven. They're easier than his Concerto in D and might actually get me to practice up to being able to play it again. Well, one can hope. I'll just have to replace it, but damn... I never have the money to spend on music books anymore. Oh well... I can wait, or just dive into the Concerto head first and pray I don't drown. I love that piece fervently. My favorite moment in all music occurs in the Third Movement.. it gives me goosebumps and tears me up just thinking about it.. which I know is kind of silly, but I'm the type of person whose soul is just intertwined with music. I honestly can't seem to live without it and lately I've been indulging in it almost constantly. I love it. It makes me feel alive and maybe this is what my depression has needed most - a musical outlet. My voice is suffering from allergies right now and thusly I can barely sing, but my violin? Never have to worry about allergies. *sigh* I have to quit being lazy and just change that damn string... lol

Okay... study break is over... time to actually work again.. :)